What does coaching give me?

Coaching for me is like a 24 hour a day thing. Sometimes it saps my energy just constantly thinking about how I can make my coaching service better and readily available to the world. It definitely is challenging I have to admit. Sometimes I lose myself in my own thoughts and get jumbled up and lose focus. Thankfully to my peer coach, Linda Blaine, I’m able to set things at a consistent pace that I can handle. Coaching, like I said, is 24 hours. I live, breathe, and pretty much eat it. I’m surprised though. As much as I am passionate about coaching and how many tools I have in my arsenal, I realize that I’m no better than the average Joe who went into coaching. I feel that the coaching I give now is mediocre to the results I’m seeing from other coaches. Which is a good thing.  Why? Because it gives me a place to measure as I become better. It’s a 24 hour thing because I want to be the best at it.

I’ve come to terms with my fear of being alone. I realized it yesterday morning while on my coaching call. That’s what a powerful coach does! To help you realize what your fears are so you can overcome them. Through the process of classes in ICA, coaching calls, and talks with other people I believe I’ve become so much more of a better person. I realize that I have been coaching myself everyday since I’ve started ICA. I fell a few times and lost focus, but I’m back on track. I found that I can only eat an elephant one bite at a time. So right now we’re taking steps. Decreasing the impulsion to do things and give myself at least till the end of the day to think any decision over. That’s the first step. I think the next step is to channel those impulsions into something more concrete and stable. Like into finding my niche and target market.

Where am I going to position myself so that my coaching services will create extreme and lasting value for anyone in my target market?

What does coaching give me? An indescribable sense of purpose for myself, for my family and friends, and for the world. All the challenges makes it even that much more worth it in the end. It’s slow steady progress right now. And for that, I’m happy.

I challenge you to find your Purpose. Find your passion. And live your destiny.

If you need help finding your purpose here’s a link to the site of Tim Kelley, a speaker and author on Purpose Hunting(TM).

Impulsive?

What?!?! I’m an impulsive thrillseeking whackjob! Well that’s how it was. I just gained a lot of new insight today about myself, about my coaching model, as well as how I’d like to coach. Coaching is the one thing that has been on my mind since I got into personal development. The benefits and rewards definitely outweigh all the hard work, the emotional fears and self doubt, that come with starting your own business. Coaching for me is the constant in my life right now. So why am I impulsive? No clue why… but it doesn’t matter because I’m finally aware that I am impulsive. I spend a good amount of time and energy reinforcing that behavior in neutral, favorable, and destructive ways. We all do that from time to time but for me it’s been a destructive habit. It spills into the financial area or my life which causes more stress than anything else. And really realizing it makes me see why I’m not progressing in other areas as well, specifically relationships. I’ll cling on to the first woman that displays interest in me, get clingy, and FORCE the relationship to work. Instead of taking a step back and analyzing how this will affect my life differently if this woman isn’t what I’m looking for. This same recurring habit effects my financial well being, spending foolishly on things that won’t add any value to my life. Or just plain spending too much without budgeting. Impulsive, which means, according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

Pronunciation: im-pl-siv
Function: adjective
1 : having the power of or actually driving or impelling
2 : actuated by or prone to act on impulse <impulsive behavior>
3 : acting momentarily

Growth & Reflection:
To grow from this I’ll have to accept that I simply a human being that has wants and needs. And although these wants and needs are struck by my impulsive nature, I must take the time to really think about things before acting. Before purchasing anything at all, I’ll give myself until the next day before I decide. If I find a lady that’s interesting, I’ll take the time to get to know her for at least 3 months before developing any emotional commitment to her. If I find myself acting on a situation to go out with my friends, I must make sure that my schedule permits me to do so. Before acting I must make a conscious effort to step back and reanalyze if the certain action will add value to my career goals and relationship goals. I must take the time to act on wisdom rather than impulse.

Alright… enough! New updates… I’ve added a new music page to the website, focusing on what certain musical inspirations have kept me moving forward. there will be regular updates, as well as new things added to this web site. But for now enjoy the new song: The Music Page

enjoy!

Reality just hit…

So I just finished my coaching session with Mel Robbins and Hank Norman on the Make It Happen With Mel radio show. And let me tell you they kicked my butt! As we talked I felt totally vulnerable and even defensive. Why? Because reality was hitting me left and right with questions like, ‘What do you really want?’, ‘Where do I feel inferior?’, ‘Who am I trying to impress?’, ‘Am I serious with life coaching?’, ‘What are you not talking about?’

To tell you the truth it scared the crap out of me. Got me to think if coaching is what I really want to do… and yet again after a few moments of thinking the answer is still a resounding, “Yes!” I know this is what I want to do in life. This career is the only thing that I’ve dreamed and talked about for the past 2 years. So what’s my problem? I believe it boils down to self-worthiness. Am I worthy of what I say I want? Do I feel I’m worthy of it all? Here’s the plain and simple answer; Not yet.

Mel asked me to write out what areas in my life do I feel inferior. Honestly I think the biggest thing is my feeling of needing to impress all those around me and the ability to prove to them that I’m worthy of something. And I do it by telling them about how I’ll be a big super coaching rockstar. But it’s all talk because my actions show the total opposite. Also the need to impress others that a college dropout can make it in the real world and still be successful. That there’s never been any emotional connection with certain family members. That financially the whole family is deep into debt because of my fathers previous gambling problems and schools I’ve decided to drop out of to follow my dream. That even though I know things aren’t financially secure I still spend my time AND money hanging out with the friends drinking and partying almost every night. The pressure of wanting my grandparents to see that even though I went against their wishes regarding school, that I’ve become a responsible young man who followed his dream to make the world a better place. And finally the lack of an intimate relationship. It get’s lonely… I’m not gonna lie. Haha.

These are the areas in my life where things are not where I want. These are the places that aren’t in balance. And these are the things that need to be adressed. It’s all out. Scary as hell because reality just hit…

Look to the right!

I’ve added a new way to get updated content to you faster than ever possible. If you look to the right there’s a link that says, “Subscribe to The Daily Dose Project”

If you’d like to get updates on what’s new in coaching, what’s new with me, or would like to just plain read up on someone you know nothing about.. subscribe by clicking the link. Like I said, this is a place to get some motivation and inspiration, tips and tricks on achieving fulfillment, maybe some drama, and some laughter while I grow myself in the coaching world and in my personal life. Take a look around and enjoy won’t you?

-Ron

Perspective. Part 1.

Two classes today. Amazing! One thing that dawned on me early in my FC102 class was that this class would be interesting. We all have different ways of interpreting situations in life. Interestingly enough, Tony Robbins was doing a seminar in Hawaii when 9/11 happened. And what he noticed was that people from around the world fall into categories. The angry people got angry, the caretakers became caretakers, the guilty felt guilt, and so on and so forth. Now let’s take this a step further. Let’s say we take a person that’s depressed and put him in a situation where he’s totally uncomfortable. A skydie, whoops I meant skydive. How do you think this person would react in that situation? Now take a confident, adventurous young lady and put her in that situation, how would she react?

As we can see our lives are shaped by the way we interpret situations. When we put out the energy of depression, we get more of it. When we put out the energy of unhappiness, we get more of it. But what if by some miracle we did the opposite? What if by some amazing feat we can suddenly become confident? Suddenly become happy? Suddenly become fulfilled right now in the present? How would that look like? Well it’d look like this:

Yes, that’s what you’d look like. Haha! A simple happy being on this earth. It’s possible to be happy now if you really wanted to. All you need to do is to look at this picture for a few minutes and imagine you were that happy. Then start thinking about all the things that make you smile. Smile Big! What makes you happy? Could it be that you have friends and family who care about you? Could it be that you have a connection with someone special? Anything that puts a smile on your face is great. Do this for 5 minutes everyday. Watch, listen, and feel how your perspective changes.

Life is a matter of how we all interpret situations. Randy Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, his book, “The Last Lecture” is an amazing story of a man who achieved his childhood dreams and lived long enough for the world to hear his voice. A man who smiled big even in the face of death.

I have a habit of judging people sometimes. And I feel that it’s a habit that needs to be broken. So for the next week I’m going to compliment every person that walks within 5 feet of me. And tell 3 of my closest friends how much I care about them. I’ll report the results in my journal and next week, we’ll analyze and decode what I did to get out of my judgmental points of view.

My Reflection Post: Influence Life

A mentor I need.

A rude awakening is something I need every now and then. I had this talk today with someone A big brother, so to speak. He knows what struggle I’m going through with focusing on school, work, and friends. He knows when I’m making excuses for myself. He knows that I’m a good guy. And he also knows how to give people the truth.

I figured out that I lie to myself. And I need to free myself from that. It’s been a habit since I can remember. If I lie to myself, what does that project to the people around me? That I can’t be trusted. I’ve lied to myself for so long, that I blurred truth with habit. And to break this habit I needed hard cold truth. Truth about myself, truth about family, truth about relationships, truth about life. I needed someone to tell me that I’m fucking up. That I’m better than what I think I am. That I’m worth going for what I need.

He’s a mentor I need. Thank you!

Priorities First…

I’ve been working all week. And still haven’t scheduled my classes. It’s been 5 days of no progress with ICA. Next week I have to break my days up. I cut it too close this time.

Who’s agenda have I been living by? The friends, once again. Not bad socially, but I know I should have been getting a head start with ICA. So let me ask you… who’s agenda do you live by? Is it your own? If not I dare you to try it… at least once. I’m about to.

Know what’s realistic, and not overdue.

I just finished going through a trial session with a coach of mine: Linda Blaine
She introduced herself as a 56-year old grandma! The rapport was great throughout the entire conversation. And she definitely knows her stuff. She reframed my perspective on a lot of different aspects of my life. And I’m definitely excited about the new progress that will be made in the next year. If i learned anything in my past 22 years of living, it’s this: There are certain absolutes that need to be taken when going head first into a goal. And these absolutes are commitment and focus. Without it, guess what, it’ll take a lot longer, you’ll be spending energy on things that you think might matter but don’t really, you’ll be in a position of stress, and frustration. Remember the last blog I had made? About having a breakthrough? Here it is:

Allow time to balance yourself. Know what’s realistic, and not overdue. If it’s on the calendar, don’t let it slip.

In addition to this I personally have a new set of Board Of Directors: 3 of them to be exact: My Coach, Linda. And 2 of the guys I’ve known since I was a kid. Ryan and Derek. Congratulations is in order. These are the 3 that I’ve recruited to help me through ICA and if possible through out the rest of my time here on this earth.

“If you talk about it, it’s a dream. If you envision it, it’s possible. But if you schedule it, it’s real.”
Anthony Robbins

A breakthrough in the works…

Trust? What is it? How do we manage trust in our relationships? Well these are questions I need some answering to. Trust is something I don’t give away easily. And it may be the reason I’ve been feeling that way towards certain people and certain situations. Maybe it’s because I don’t trust myself enough to trust anyone else? Hmm… that’s something to think about. I’m flustered right now. I have work, school, my social life, and a ton of other crap to balance, esp my finances. And maybe since all these things aren’t taken care of is why I don’t trust myself. Who knows? I just want to obsess over my classes, building my business, researching my niche. But at the same time I need to schedule my personal life as well. All this balancing… it’s hard to figure out what’s right, especially in the relationship department. I think it’s time to revise my list. The last few fit. But somethings missing.

I’m flustered, confused, frustrated, and irate. This is the perfect position. Why? Because I’m so dissatisfied that something is bound to give. A breakthrough in the works.

Thanks Mary…

Well I got a pretty interesting message today on myspace. At first I was kind of put off by the directness of the message. It got me really defensive and made me think in my head, “why is this person assuming things about me?” I had to reframe my thinking because I know this person wasn’t saying this to hurt me, but I have to admit that for a moment, it did. One of the points this person was trying to get across to me was about my life coaching classes and how I’m not so ‘motivated’ to go to any of them… she was right because I really had no classes to go to during break. The determination fell through big time, even after break was over. And after realizing it, I got myself a coach to work with to finish these classes. So I can’t really say I’m upset with what was said, it was more of an eye opener that people do still care even if I haven’t really talked tot hat person in a while. Also that their model of the world isn’t mines so I can’t assume what she was saying… All I can do is realize that she said those things to help me move forward. And I thank her for that, she’s still keeping me in check… and that

So here’s a lesson for you all. People DO NOT view the world the same way you do, period. People agree to agree and disagree all the time. This time I had to agree to disagree on some of what she was saying to me. And that’s fine. I love her for it. She doesn’t have all the facts about what’s going on, and frankly I can’t blame her for that. So lesson is: People display love in different ways. Learn to take it in, in all ways.

Thanks Mary.