Know what’s realistic, and not overdue.

I just finished going through a trial session with a coach of mine: Linda Blaine
She introduced herself as a 56-year old grandma! The rapport was great throughout the entire conversation. And she definitely knows her stuff. She reframed my perspective on a lot of different aspects of my life. And I’m definitely excited about the new progress that will be made in the next year. If i learned anything in my past 22 years of living, it’s this: There are certain absolutes that need to be taken when going head first into a goal. And these absolutes are commitment and focus. Without it, guess what, it’ll take a lot longer, you’ll be spending energy on things that you think might matter but don’t really, you’ll be in a position of stress, and frustration. Remember the last blog I had made? About having a breakthrough? Here it is:

Allow time to balance yourself. Know what’s realistic, and not overdue. If it’s on the calendar, don’t let it slip.

In addition to this I personally have a new set of Board Of Directors: 3 of them to be exact: My Coach, Linda. And 2 of the guys I’ve known since I was a kid. Ryan and Derek. Congratulations is in order. These are the 3 that I’ve recruited to help me through ICA and if possible through out the rest of my time here on this earth.

“If you talk about it, it’s a dream. If you envision it, it’s possible. But if you schedule it, it’s real.”
Anthony Robbins

A breakthrough in the works…

Trust? What is it? How do we manage trust in our relationships? Well these are questions I need some answering to. Trust is something I don’t give away easily. And it may be the reason I’ve been feeling that way towards certain people and certain situations. Maybe it’s because I don’t trust myself enough to trust anyone else? Hmm… that’s something to think about. I’m flustered right now. I have work, school, my social life, and a ton of other crap to balance, esp my finances. And maybe since all these things aren’t taken care of is why I don’t trust myself. Who knows? I just want to obsess over my classes, building my business, researching my niche. But at the same time I need to schedule my personal life as well. All this balancing… it’s hard to figure out what’s right, especially in the relationship department. I think it’s time to revise my list. The last few fit. But somethings missing.

I’m flustered, confused, frustrated, and irate. This is the perfect position. Why? Because I’m so dissatisfied that something is bound to give. A breakthrough in the works.

Thanks Mary…

Well I got a pretty interesting message today on myspace. At first I was kind of put off by the directness of the message. It got me really defensive and made me think in my head, “why is this person assuming things about me?” I had to reframe my thinking because I know this person wasn’t saying this to hurt me, but I have to admit that for a moment, it did. One of the points this person was trying to get across to me was about my life coaching classes and how I’m not so ‘motivated’ to go to any of them… she was right because I really had no classes to go to during break. The determination fell through big time, even after break was over. And after realizing it, I got myself a coach to work with to finish these classes. So I can’t really say I’m upset with what was said, it was more of an eye opener that people do still care even if I haven’t really talked tot hat person in a while. Also that their model of the world isn’t mines so I can’t assume what she was saying… All I can do is realize that she said those things to help me move forward. And I thank her for that, she’s still keeping me in check… and that

So here’s a lesson for you all. People DO NOT view the world the same way you do, period. People agree to agree and disagree all the time. This time I had to agree to disagree on some of what she was saying to me. And that’s fine. I love her for it. She doesn’t have all the facts about what’s going on, and frankly I can’t blame her for that. So lesson is: People display love in different ways. Learn to take it in, in all ways.

Thanks Mary.

Back To Basics…. The House Model

I had a very interesting conversation at work today with one of the customers that comes in to read and hang out. During lunch I was in our cafe hanging out when I saw a gentleman reading Napoleon Hill’s book, Think And Grow Rich. Being one of the guys that reads books like that, I shouted, “That’s an amazing book.” And from there we got to talking, about business, life, and self improvement. One of the more profound insights I got out of our conversation was the fact that everything needs a basic structure, a basic foundation to build upon. An example he enlightened me with was the formation of a house.

Step 1: Obtain Land (See yourself for who you are)
Step 2: Permit to start breaking ground (Accept yourself)
Step 3: Groundbreaking day (Liberation from self-doubt)
Step 4: Add pipes (Addition of new knowledge and action)
Step 5: Cement the foundation (Cement your new empowering habits in)
Step 6: Build the frame (Reinforce your actions by taking more action)
Step 7: How does your house look? (If you don’t like it, rebuild it until you do)

These are the 7 steps that I may just use in my coaching model. I’ll call it, The House.

Thanks to Paul Cruz for all that! If you’re interested in what he does check out his website: PAEE Development

Michael Jackson…

Well I had an interesting day at work yesterday. I missed class which bummed me out. I feel that I’m missing too much classes in regards to work. Which really really bugs me because I want to just obsess myself into my coaching. I want a full month just to go to class and learn. But… that’s just too impractical right now, which sucks! Anyway enough about me. Yesterday at work guess who stopped by? Yup you got it, the king of pop himself, Michael Jackson. Apparently he’s been popping up at a few other Borders Stores around town. One of my regulars at work seen Mr. Thriller at one of the other stores the day before.

I have to give it up to Michael though. Being a star/icon must be difficult. He came into Borders covered up so no one would see him. If I were in his shoes, I’d probably wouldn’t have been a pop legend in the first place, it would be too hard to go around and not be me… But that’s just my opinion though. MJ is an icon and I’m proud that he actually came to our store and shopped around. It definitely made my day exciting. Kudos to you Mike!

The reason I love my job is because I get to meet so many people from varying cultures, attitudes, and ways of life that it never gets dull. I met a few people already, my regulars, that I’ve had amazing conversations with! And that’s not even the cool part, the cool part is that these people have defined their own success. These regulars are business owners, writers, musicians, pick-up artists, coaches, etc.

And what I mean by them defining their own success is that these people have taken the action, taken the necessary steps to improve their lives dramatically. The gentleman that I spoke with today came straight from the hood, the ghetto. And after speaking to him for about an hour he gave me so much insight on life, on business, on his dreams, and even helped me out with my dreams as well. Where else in this world can you network with so many cool and interesting people that are on the same wavelength, or even have the same mindset as you… the only place I know, Borders.

This is where it’s all going to start for me. I know it and feel it. Borders is helping me gain my network, as well as provide a service to customers that not only enrich other peoples lives, but also help them actually live fulfilled lives.

My mission in life is to be a servant of love.

And this echoes my work ethic. To love these people and to serve them even if I don’t know them. Just this mission statement alone reflects the results I’ve gotten in my life. I come from a position of love and service. And that alone, I know, will beat out any competition, any limiting belief, and anything else stopping me from being who I already am.

What’s your mission in life?

Penn & Teller Bullshit!

I’d like to open up a forum on what people think about the self-help industry. Personally I believe that what you think definitely motivates your actions. As far as the gimmicks of fire-walking, walking on glass, and breaking arrows and boards, I believe that they don’t do much. But it does add a form of reference to eliminate fear. Watch the video, see what you think. Again Penn & Teller are working on a bias of Bullshit. the 80/20 rule applies everywhere, even in the self-help industry. 80% of the people attending these seminars will sit and listen but not get anything out of the seminars, I used to be that way. The other 20% will gain the results. It’s a decision made personally to gain results daily, not by a seminar. Watch and learn and discuss.

Penn and Teller -Bullshit! – Self-Helpless

The Testing Grounds of Connection

Steve Jackson, author of The Mentor & The Judas has a website entitled: Six Degrees of Seperation, a research project to see how more connected we are now that the internet has come about. Theory states that we are all connected by 6 degrees of separation. Meaning to say, we are all connected. The experiment was done through Facebook, “a kind of Internet-in-miniature”, Steve calls it. Do you think he contacted everyone in Facebook? Check his site out and decide for yourself. But here’s a little tid-bit taken from his website, “Whether we’re separated by six degrees or ten degrees or one degree isn’t important. What is important is the idea that we are connected.”
- Steve Jackson (Six Degreees of Separation)

De La Soul

Hip Hop. So living in Las Vegas really brings out a few different characters. The Hard Rock held a concert at their Rehab pool last week Friday. The concert was from a group called De La Soul. Since 1988 they’ve been pumpin’ out records, albums, concerts, the whole package. 20 years! Now that’s what I call a calling to follow your passion. This group has seen so much already and they still love to put on a good show. The reason I loved their show so much wasn’t because the music was bangin, but more or less because they showed you how they lived, the showed you that with strength, faith, courage and determination dreams come true. And on top of all that, they are real people. Genuine to their core. If someone is being genuine, it’s a story. If someone is being fake, it’s a lie.

The Old Man…

Hi everyone! Glad to see everyone is still visiting this! Anyway something profound hit me in between the eyes last night. I’ve been taking some time off to get back in to the swing of things for ICA and work. My biggest hurdle is my mindset right now. I need to reframe from laziness and inefficiency, into dynamic progress and efficient progress. And what helped me yesterday to realize that? An old man getting his mail. Yep. I was sitting at the pool hanging out with a few friends yesterday, when all I could hear was a loud clunk and something dragging on the floor. I noticed it was this old man walking to get his mail. He was moving so slow, I really started to feel bad. But as I watched I calculated that it took about half an hour for him to get a mere 50 ft. Thinking nothing of it I went back to entertain the group of friends, swim, and chit-chat. About the time we leave, I see this old man now finally going back home after getting the mail.

Now imagine if it took you that long to get mail. Almost an hour of work to get a few pieces of paper stuffed in a box. Would you go through that? This man doesn’t know it but he’s taught so much about perseverance, determination, and to accept that challenges as they arise so we can overcome them. This old man, taught me that life really matters as long as you keep trying.

The Dabbler…

There was once a very old dying man who ruled a kingdom. His son was next to be put on the throne after his death. Under the old king’s rule the kingdom flourished. Food, water, safety, and kinship were the basic needs. The king fulfilled them. One day though, the king died. His son became king, but he never learned how to be a king. His father had never taught him how to rule a kingdom. But, his son had big plans for the kingdom. A vision so grand it mimics Rome. The new king told the people his grand vision. And sat on his thrown waiting for the day that someone or something would start the movement. He sat there for weeks… months… years…. And each year he would explain his grand vision of the future. But then the people slowly started leaving. The people slowly started packing their things in search of a new kingdom to live. All the while, the aging and now dying king, sits there and waits alone for his death.

This story blows my mind! Why? Because I wrote it. Not in the ‘cocky I’m cool because I wrote this’ sense, but in the sense that this story came off the top of my head and towards the end I got some very cool new insight that I might be able to use in my coaching practice. But more importantly I hadn’t realized how this story correlated with my life until about half way through. I noticed that my life mimics that of my story right now. Weird and freaky! But you know what? This has helped me find a few answers to what I was searching for. Which leads me to…. dun dun dun….. THE DABBLER

The dabbler is a person that talks the talk, does a little bit more talking and no doing. I’ve been experiencing that with many of my peers, relationships, friends and family, and as well as myself. At the end of the story I purposely left it open ended… just for you to think whether or not he realized that life had slipped away or he kept plowing away thinking his vision would come true before he died.

Some of us talk ourselves to death. We say, we say, we say, but most times never do. %98 of the world is like that. So it’s pretty normal, right? Wrong. And here’s why. The other %2 are the doers of the world, creating, changing, inventing all things possible, influencing, creating leadership. But, what if this generation, the generation Y kids, can access their inner resources enough to change the statistics? What if we can go up to %2.5? That’s only 66 million people. And on top of that we’ll have exponential growth for the next generations to come. This is my vision. To create a world of doers. Something I never was. Until the day I started at ICA. I became a doer then, and will help to create movers and shakers in this world. My commitment to you reading this, and to the quarterlifers that are ready for change.

Are you ready for this? This world is ready for some social change. Something more profound than anything has ever been. We’re all on the prowl for world peace. And by that I mean inner-world-peace, the place where things flow, where dreams become reality, the place where fulfillment lies. We’re all on a search for our purpose. And this is what I’m going to help you find, your purpose to freedom. Your drive to be a doer. And it starts at this first step.

Know what you want!

What is it in life that if you knew you couldn’t fail would make you feel fulfilled in every way possible?
What is it in your life have you dabbled too much in and want to move forward with?
What is it that drives your purpose for living?
If you had 1 day to live what would you want the world know about you?
If you were to write an autobiography about your life, how would you write it? What accomplishments, challenges, goals, dreams, and desires have you had? Would you tell the ones that you love how much they meant to you?

Basically, if life ended tonight before you go to bed, would you be happy?

If not, I challenge you to find what will by answering those questions. Search deeper beyond the surface of life and find something that adds meaning to your life. Whatever it is, I’ll join you through your search to be your best self.