Thank God I’m Alive #1

This is the first post on Daily Dose and it’s an important post for me. Why you ask? Because it gives me the chance to let you in a little about myself and a bit of my past. This is more for a spiritual side of reconciliation for me as well. Time to let go…

As I was growing up in Hawaii, around the time I became a thir-’tween’ yearold, I became exposed to many different and wonderful experiences. Some good… some bad. Some drug-ridden, some alcohol-ridden. It may not be as intense as other peoples experiences but it was intense enough for me to forget the world. And if you’ve forgotten the world around you, then that’s intense enough for me. Anyway, during this time I had no idea of what lay ahead of me. I had just started gaining an identity with who I was growing into. I had finally set a real good set group of friends. I had a girlfriend. I had family. And I had the feeling of being a kid. But little did I know that I would leave this all behind. My Whole Identity of who I was, vanish. Not once but twice. I ended up moving 2 different times to 2 entirely different states within 1 year, with a small sidestep to the Philippines for a month. I left everything I gained, the relationships, the close friends, my identity again, left it behind with each move… Forming a new one each place I go. So I never knew who I was, period. I ended up in Las Vegas, the City of Sin, where things got rough. Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol. Ecstasy. Marijuana. Speed. Cocaine. Prescription Pills. Money. And Immaturity. They were all my friends! I loved it all. A 2 week binge on Ecstasy gave me life. It gave me hope for future. It gave me a sense of self. I had an identity. I loved myself. All that from 3 pills a day through the nose. Some weed calmed me down. Coke was fun. Alcohol was lovely. But E was my drug of choice… I felt good. Until it brought me down towards a deep spiraling hole. Wanting to die. Wanting to live. Hating Life. It brought me into a deep depression. I didn’t know what to do. I isolated myself to just me and my girlfriend at the time. I felt empty. I felt as if I didn’t know what my life was about. I had to find it. And that I did. The girlfriend broke up with me, more depression and pain. I was forced to go deeper. Or so I thought.

It took me about 9 (drug-induced) years to really figure out why I started so early and why I could never be happy. The depression where nothing you do is never enough. The longing for something more kept smacking me upside the head. I really could care less, I left it out in the sun to shrivel up… until I found out what the answer to real true happiness is. If you haven’t experienced it for yourself, I challenge you to do the exercise I’ll explain later.

The secret to happiness is gratitude. To live a life of humility and gratitude. Thank God. Imagine how lonely it would be to not care, not give a flying rat’s tattoo butt, not grow… how would life be if we were all ungrateful. Civilizations would perish. Literally. Gratitude to whoever or whatever you believe in rules all.

I’m deeply grateful to you who’s reading this because it gives me a bigger reason to write. A bigger reason to do good in the world. A real reason to live, and that makes me happy. I see so many people unhappy with life, always complaining, always hating life. Things happen and it’s okay to feel bad about them, just not for so long that it kills everything in motion. Be grateful to be alive, change your beliefs and attitude about life. And love life.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
-Wayne W. Dyer
The Power of Intention

Task #1: Thank God. Thank yourself.

Question: If you could be grateful right now, what would you be grateful for and why?