The Tribe

Today is one of those days where you feel like you don’t want to do anything. I’ve been literally overworking myself to the bone. I haven’t been taking care of myself very well. After work, it’s back to home and the real work begins. I’ve pretty much been dealt the “Can you handle this?” hand. At this point it’s taking more effort for me to get up in the morning. The thing that’s fueled me even though I’m coughing up a storm has been my passion to get this life coaching thing on the road.

I talk to a bunch of customers at work and there are a few times where I meet the ‘right’ people. They just happen to pop up. I’ve been lucky enough or blessed enough to find these people and connect with them. People ask me what I do these days, and being the young, ambitious, inexperienced guy that I am… I tell them “I’m doing me.”

Most people don’t understand that concept. They have a skewed understanding of what it means. To them it only means that I’m working, getting things done, and making enough money. WRONG! It means that I’m doing something I love regardless of monetary rewards. It means that I’m making sure that this thing I love is worth it for me to drop everything, like friends and that oh-so-tempting Vegas life.

To ‘do me’ means to love my life. My goal is to help people that are stuck and struggling to find their voice to FIND IT or CREATE IT then to ultimately LIVE IT.

Do you know what a tribe is? Seth Godin in his new book titled Tribes defines a tribe as ‘a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea’ (1).

My tribe: All the people needing or hurting because they can’t find their voice or their part in this ever-changing world.

The idea: To grow as a human being. To become more. To help each other. To teach each other how to find that voice and ultimately how to live it in such a way that by the end of their life they can say, “Damn that was a hard, long, and damn fun road, but OH MY GOD was it worth it! Let’s do it again!”

Coach Ron

So I finally stepped up. I coached a client during class today. And even though it was for a good 15 minutes where we had our session, I felt very accomplished. It started off with me being very very very nervous as to stepping up and coaching. I never did it in such a public corum before. But once I leaned into the coaching session and really got present in the moment. I flowed like Niagra Falls baby. It felt good to help my client reach a very different perspective in her thinking. It felt amazing to hear her transform her thought previous thought processes into something more empowering. Now that I am coaching people… I’m sure I’ll gain way more experience and a ton of more tools will be shown to me in ways I won’t expect. Bring it on baby. Let’s get this snowball rolling.

“DRIVE THE BOAT IN THE WATER AND NOT IN THE SAND”
coaching comment I made on finding the right vehicles to success. What’s your vehicle?

The meaning of purpose.

“My Purpose In Life is to Serve God and contribute to humanity by living out loud in a powerful, fun, dynamic, passionate, loving, and entertaining way by helping others live their life’s purpose, and by being an example of what God gives back to people that live a life of service and contribution.”

There have been people throughout human history that have tried to define why we’re here on this earth. What our purpose is in life. Then there are those that live life by the seat of it’s pants, no real direction and no real meaning. Personally, I believe, that what we decide for ourselves defines our purpose. I believe that the only way to a meaningful and fulfilled life is to live a life with meaning. Whatever your life means to you today is perfect. It’s right for this time in your life. You wake up because of that meaning, whether you know it or not. But are you living a life of warning? Or example?

We can’t control the cards we’re dealt, but we can definitely control how we play them. There will be times in your life where you feel that what you’re doing doesn’t fulfill you anymore. Learn to play that hand. Learn from that hand and realize that you’ve been dealt those cards for you to search and dig deeper inside of yourself to become more. To be more. To build your character. Experience all you can in the realm of uncertainty and your passion will be found. It is in the time of uncertainty that your character is shaped. Find your purpose. Live a life of no regret. Love life. Live well.

Leaning Into It

I’ve had a few big successes in my life these past few weeks. I’ve successfully demolished a few addictions that I care not to reveal at this point. But let me tell you, these addictions really took a toll on my life and the people I cared about most. I made other people responsible for who I was, made them responsible for what I needed in terms of money, and basically lied to many of them to get my way. A very selfish act on my part. It drained all my energy, I hated being that way. I hated my life because of what I used to do and be. But slowly I reached a point where I did a complete 180 and changed my life around. I realized that there is no quick-fix, and if there is; it never lasts. I found myself leaning into my life the way I wanted it to be.

I learned this “lean into life” strategy from Jack Canfield, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Leaning into life is a cool way of saying, to do things little by little with patience and to the best of your abilities. I decided to slowly pull away from destructive habits, I erased all the things that were not congruent to the way I wanted my life to be. And I slowly started to put myself in positions where I wanted my life to go. For example, I found this amazing website called Thank God I…. Check it out when you get a chance. But to make a long story short, they are looking for authors that want to be published. I had applied to be a part of it with the thought of, “I’ll just lean into this and see what happens.” I had detached myself from the outcome of wanting to be a published author, realizing that it’ll happen some day, one day, some how. So I wasn’t worried about it. Last night, I checked the voice-mail and to my surprise they called me back wanting to find out more information about ‘my story’. Now I haven’t called them back yet as it was very late at night when I got the message. If they decide to use me, great! But even just for the fact that they took the time to review my application and call me shows how awesome this ‘lean into life’ strategy works. I’m forever grateful for even the chance to have been called back. I’ll keep you folks updated on what happens. All this for a young 22 year old getting into the life coaching industry. I’m proud of who I am and proud of the steps I’m taking and have taken.

So remember folks, Lean Into Life! You never know what great things will happen if you just try to experience new things. The quality of your life is in direct proportion of the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with. Seek out that uncertainty and your passion will be found.

Indecisiveness

I’ve noticed a common thread with quarterlifers and generation-y. And the running theme is indecisiveness. Indecisiveness as to where to lead their life, what goals to achieve, and what matters most to them. And let me put it out straight and say that it’s okay to not know. It’s okay to be not okay at this point in our lives. We are constantly struggling figuring things out because we’re led believe that we need to know everything. But that’s impossible. Our indecisiveness comes from having too much in our lives. We have so much stimulus coming from family, friends, media, and our own set of beliefs and values that it’s hard to pinpoint what’s right. And we struggle and hurt because of it. We get stuck in the daily motion of things that we rarely know who we’ve become until it’s too late. And usually the person we become in the process isn’t what we hoped to be. Here’s something simple you can do every morning for 15 minutes to figure who you want to be and where you’d like your life to go.

15 minutes of quiet time is all you need. Get away from the distractions and sit quietly just thinking about who you’d want to be. And over time you’ll figure out what yuo’re meant to be in your lifetime. Sit thinking about where your strength lies, where your weaknesses are, and spend some time imagining who you’d like to become. 15 minutes of quiet for yourself and yourself only. Take the time to give back to yourself. It’ll work wonders for your life. Try it and let me know your results.

What is a coach?

There’s been a lot of breakthroughs and thoughts about coaching that has been running through my head lately. I was on the radio again for a follow up. Honestly I come from the school of, let’s figure out what’s wrong and work from there. As far as life coaching goes, ‘ragging’ on your client only makes things worse. There may be some that operate in that manner, but personally, being on air and ragged on by a life coach with a TON of credentials and credibility really put things in perspective of what a ‘performer coach’ is and what a ‘purist coach’ is. Now I’m not saying the session was bad… but it could have been handled way better in my eyes. Either way, the performer and the purist each have it’s pros and cons. My blend of coaching will add those pros together and build a thriving practice from the ground up. Excited!

Action vs. Delay

PT109: The 2nd session of Action Vs. Delay. Pretty interesting. What is Delay? It’s the opposite of action. Delay is the inaction of a person. Why does delay happen? Personally, I believe that there’s something deeper under the surface that’s causing the ‘flow’ to be interrupted. Figuring out where the blockage is, is what we discussed in our class today. And there were very diverse discussions as to how to lean into action to achieve their goals. During the coaching/client session I’ve come to really learn more about how and when I would introduce, share, and use my specific amount of tools with certain clients. And that’s a BIG WIN. It’s all falling under my House Model. A new refined version will be coming out in the next week. But for now here’s a preview:

^
/Roof\
|Frame|
Foundation

I’ll pass along something in the Foundation part of this model for you to use today. As the day passes look for areas in your life where the ‘flow’ isn’t there. Just identify it for now and write it down. And in the next post I’ll share some questions and insights that I asked myself to overcome and breakthrough pretty much every single thing that was blocking my way to achieve more and be happier everyday.

What does coaching give me?

Coaching for me is like a 24 hour a day thing. Sometimes it saps my energy just constantly thinking about how I can make my coaching service better and readily available to the world. It definitely is challenging I have to admit. Sometimes I lose myself in my own thoughts and get jumbled up and lose focus. Thankfully to my peer coach, Linda Blaine, I’m able to set things at a consistent pace that I can handle. Coaching, like I said, is 24 hours. I live, breathe, and pretty much eat it. I’m surprised though. As much as I am passionate about coaching and how many tools I have in my arsenal, I realize that I’m no better than the average Joe who went into coaching. I feel that the coaching I give now is mediocre to the results I’m seeing from other coaches. Which is a good thing.  Why? Because it gives me a place to measure as I become better. It’s a 24 hour thing because I want to be the best at it.

I’ve come to terms with my fear of being alone. I realized it yesterday morning while on my coaching call. That’s what a powerful coach does! To help you realize what your fears are so you can overcome them. Through the process of classes in ICA, coaching calls, and talks with other people I believe I’ve become so much more of a better person. I realize that I have been coaching myself everyday since I’ve started ICA. I fell a few times and lost focus, but I’m back on track. I found that I can only eat an elephant one bite at a time. So right now we’re taking steps. Decreasing the impulsion to do things and give myself at least till the end of the day to think any decision over. That’s the first step. I think the next step is to channel those impulsions into something more concrete and stable. Like into finding my niche and target market.

Where am I going to position myself so that my coaching services will create extreme and lasting value for anyone in my target market?

What does coaching give me? An indescribable sense of purpose for myself, for my family and friends, and for the world. All the challenges makes it even that much more worth it in the end. It’s slow steady progress right now. And for that, I’m happy.

I challenge you to find your Purpose. Find your passion. And live your destiny.

If you need help finding your purpose here’s a link to the site of Tim Kelley, a speaker and author on Purpose Hunting(TM).

Impulsive?

What?!?! I’m an impulsive thrillseeking whackjob! Well that’s how it was. I just gained a lot of new insight today about myself, about my coaching model, as well as how I’d like to coach. Coaching is the one thing that has been on my mind since I got into personal development. The benefits and rewards definitely outweigh all the hard work, the emotional fears and self doubt, that come with starting your own business. Coaching for me is the constant in my life right now. So why am I impulsive? No clue why… but it doesn’t matter because I’m finally aware that I am impulsive. I spend a good amount of time and energy reinforcing that behavior in neutral, favorable, and destructive ways. We all do that from time to time but for me it’s been a destructive habit. It spills into the financial area or my life which causes more stress than anything else. And really realizing it makes me see why I’m not progressing in other areas as well, specifically relationships. I’ll cling on to the first woman that displays interest in me, get clingy, and FORCE the relationship to work. Instead of taking a step back and analyzing how this will affect my life differently if this woman isn’t what I’m looking for. This same recurring habit effects my financial well being, spending foolishly on things that won’t add any value to my life. Or just plain spending too much without budgeting. Impulsive, which means, according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

Pronunciation: im-pl-siv
Function: adjective
1 : having the power of or actually driving or impelling
2 : actuated by or prone to act on impulse <impulsive behavior>
3 : acting momentarily

Growth & Reflection:
To grow from this I’ll have to accept that I simply a human being that has wants and needs. And although these wants and needs are struck by my impulsive nature, I must take the time to really think about things before acting. Before purchasing anything at all, I’ll give myself until the next day before I decide. If I find a lady that’s interesting, I’ll take the time to get to know her for at least 3 months before developing any emotional commitment to her. If I find myself acting on a situation to go out with my friends, I must make sure that my schedule permits me to do so. Before acting I must make a conscious effort to step back and reanalyze if the certain action will add value to my career goals and relationship goals. I must take the time to act on wisdom rather than impulse.

Alright… enough! New updates… I’ve added a new music page to the website, focusing on what certain musical inspirations have kept me moving forward. there will be regular updates, as well as new things added to this web site. But for now enjoy the new song: The Music Page

enjoy!

Reality just hit…

So I just finished my coaching session with Mel Robbins and Hank Norman on the Make It Happen With Mel radio show. And let me tell you they kicked my butt! As we talked I felt totally vulnerable and even defensive. Why? Because reality was hitting me left and right with questions like, ‘What do you really want?’, ‘Where do I feel inferior?’, ‘Who am I trying to impress?’, ‘Am I serious with life coaching?’, ‘What are you not talking about?’

To tell you the truth it scared the crap out of me. Got me to think if coaching is what I really want to do… and yet again after a few moments of thinking the answer is still a resounding, “Yes!” I know this is what I want to do in life. This career is the only thing that I’ve dreamed and talked about for the past 2 years. So what’s my problem? I believe it boils down to self-worthiness. Am I worthy of what I say I want? Do I feel I’m worthy of it all? Here’s the plain and simple answer; Not yet.

Mel asked me to write out what areas in my life do I feel inferior. Honestly I think the biggest thing is my feeling of needing to impress all those around me and the ability to prove to them that I’m worthy of something. And I do it by telling them about how I’ll be a big super coaching rockstar. But it’s all talk because my actions show the total opposite. Also the need to impress others that a college dropout can make it in the real world and still be successful. That there’s never been any emotional connection with certain family members. That financially the whole family is deep into debt because of my fathers previous gambling problems and schools I’ve decided to drop out of to follow my dream. That even though I know things aren’t financially secure I still spend my time AND money hanging out with the friends drinking and partying almost every night. The pressure of wanting my grandparents to see that even though I went against their wishes regarding school, that I’ve become a responsible young man who followed his dream to make the world a better place. And finally the lack of an intimate relationship. It get’s lonely… I’m not gonna lie. Haha.

These are the areas in my life where things are not where I want. These are the places that aren’t in balance. And these are the things that need to be adressed. It’s all out. Scary as hell because reality just hit…