Coach Ron

So I finally stepped up. I coached a client during class today. And even though it was for a good 15 minutes where we had our session, I felt very accomplished. It started off with me being very very very nervous as to stepping up and coaching. I never did it in such a public corum before. But once I leaned into the coaching session and really got present in the moment. I flowed like Niagra Falls baby. It felt good to help my client reach a very different perspective in her thinking. It felt amazing to hear her transform her thought previous thought processes into something more empowering. Now that I am coaching people… I’m sure I’ll gain way more experience and a ton of more tools will be shown to me in ways I won’t expect. Bring it on baby. Let’s get this snowball rolling.

“DRIVE THE BOAT IN THE WATER AND NOT IN THE SAND”
coaching comment I made on finding the right vehicles to success. What’s your vehicle?

The meaning of purpose.

“My Purpose In Life is to Serve God and contribute to humanity by living out loud in a powerful, fun, dynamic, passionate, loving, and entertaining way by helping others live their life’s purpose, and by being an example of what God gives back to people that live a life of service and contribution.”

There have been people throughout human history that have tried to define why we’re here on this earth. What our purpose is in life. Then there are those that live life by the seat of it’s pants, no real direction and no real meaning. Personally, I believe, that what we decide for ourselves defines our purpose. I believe that the only way to a meaningful and fulfilled life is to live a life with meaning. Whatever your life means to you today is perfect. It’s right for this time in your life. You wake up because of that meaning, whether you know it or not. But are you living a life of warning? Or example?

We can’t control the cards we’re dealt, but we can definitely control how we play them. There will be times in your life where you feel that what you’re doing doesn’t fulfill you anymore. Learn to play that hand. Learn from that hand and realize that you’ve been dealt those cards for you to search and dig deeper inside of yourself to become more. To be more. To build your character. Experience all you can in the realm of uncertainty and your passion will be found. It is in the time of uncertainty that your character is shaped. Find your purpose. Live a life of no regret. Love life. Live well.

Leaning Into It

I’ve had a few big successes in my life these past few weeks. I’ve successfully demolished a few addictions that I care not to reveal at this point. But let me tell you, these addictions really took a toll on my life and the people I cared about most. I made other people responsible for who I was, made them responsible for what I needed in terms of money, and basically lied to many of them to get my way. A very selfish act on my part. It drained all my energy, I hated being that way. I hated my life because of what I used to do and be. But slowly I reached a point where I did a complete 180 and changed my life around. I realized that there is no quick-fix, and if there is; it never lasts. I found myself leaning into my life the way I wanted it to be.

I learned this “lean into life” strategy from Jack Canfield, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Leaning into life is a cool way of saying, to do things little by little with patience and to the best of your abilities. I decided to slowly pull away from destructive habits, I erased all the things that were not congruent to the way I wanted my life to be. And I slowly started to put myself in positions where I wanted my life to go. For example, I found this amazing website called Thank God I…. Check it out when you get a chance. But to make a long story short, they are looking for authors that want to be published. I had applied to be a part of it with the thought of, “I’ll just lean into this and see what happens.” I had detached myself from the outcome of wanting to be a published author, realizing that it’ll happen some day, one day, some how. So I wasn’t worried about it. Last night, I checked the voice-mail and to my surprise they called me back wanting to find out more information about ‘my story’. Now I haven’t called them back yet as it was very late at night when I got the message. If they decide to use me, great! But even just for the fact that they took the time to review my application and call me shows how awesome this ‘lean into life’ strategy works. I’m forever grateful for even the chance to have been called back. I’ll keep you folks updated on what happens. All this for a young 22 year old getting into the life coaching industry. I’m proud of who I am and proud of the steps I’m taking and have taken.

So remember folks, Lean Into Life! You never know what great things will happen if you just try to experience new things. The quality of your life is in direct proportion of the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with. Seek out that uncertainty and your passion will be found.

Impulsive?

What?!?! I’m an impulsive thrillseeking whackjob! Well that’s how it was. I just gained a lot of new insight today about myself, about my coaching model, as well as how I’d like to coach. Coaching is the one thing that has been on my mind since I got into personal development. The benefits and rewards definitely outweigh all the hard work, the emotional fears and self doubt, that come with starting your own business. Coaching for me is the constant in my life right now. So why am I impulsive? No clue why… but it doesn’t matter because I’m finally aware that I am impulsive. I spend a good amount of time and energy reinforcing that behavior in neutral, favorable, and destructive ways. We all do that from time to time but for me it’s been a destructive habit. It spills into the financial area or my life which causes more stress than anything else. And really realizing it makes me see why I’m not progressing in other areas as well, specifically relationships. I’ll cling on to the first woman that displays interest in me, get clingy, and FORCE the relationship to work. Instead of taking a step back and analyzing how this will affect my life differently if this woman isn’t what I’m looking for. This same recurring habit effects my financial well being, spending foolishly on things that won’t add any value to my life. Or just plain spending too much without budgeting. Impulsive, which means, according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

Pronunciation: im-pl-siv
Function: adjective
1 : having the power of or actually driving or impelling
2 : actuated by or prone to act on impulse <impulsive behavior>
3 : acting momentarily

Growth & Reflection:
To grow from this I’ll have to accept that I simply a human being that has wants and needs. And although these wants and needs are struck by my impulsive nature, I must take the time to really think about things before acting. Before purchasing anything at all, I’ll give myself until the next day before I decide. If I find a lady that’s interesting, I’ll take the time to get to know her for at least 3 months before developing any emotional commitment to her. If I find myself acting on a situation to go out with my friends, I must make sure that my schedule permits me to do so. Before acting I must make a conscious effort to step back and reanalyze if the certain action will add value to my career goals and relationship goals. I must take the time to act on wisdom rather than impulse.

Alright… enough! New updates… I’ve added a new music page to the website, focusing on what certain musical inspirations have kept me moving forward. there will be regular updates, as well as new things added to this web site. But for now enjoy the new song: The Music Page

enjoy!

Reality just hit…

So I just finished my coaching session with Mel Robbins and Hank Norman on the Make It Happen With Mel radio show. And let me tell you they kicked my butt! As we talked I felt totally vulnerable and even defensive. Why? Because reality was hitting me left and right with questions like, ‘What do you really want?’, ‘Where do I feel inferior?’, ‘Who am I trying to impress?’, ‘Am I serious with life coaching?’, ‘What are you not talking about?’

To tell you the truth it scared the crap out of me. Got me to think if coaching is what I really want to do… and yet again after a few moments of thinking the answer is still a resounding, “Yes!” I know this is what I want to do in life. This career is the only thing that I’ve dreamed and talked about for the past 2 years. So what’s my problem? I believe it boils down to self-worthiness. Am I worthy of what I say I want? Do I feel I’m worthy of it all? Here’s the plain and simple answer; Not yet.

Mel asked me to write out what areas in my life do I feel inferior. Honestly I think the biggest thing is my feeling of needing to impress all those around me and the ability to prove to them that I’m worthy of something. And I do it by telling them about how I’ll be a big super coaching rockstar. But it’s all talk because my actions show the total opposite. Also the need to impress others that a college dropout can make it in the real world and still be successful. That there’s never been any emotional connection with certain family members. That financially the whole family is deep into debt because of my fathers previous gambling problems and schools I’ve decided to drop out of to follow my dream. That even though I know things aren’t financially secure I still spend my time AND money hanging out with the friends drinking and partying almost every night. The pressure of wanting my grandparents to see that even though I went against their wishes regarding school, that I’ve become a responsible young man who followed his dream to make the world a better place. And finally the lack of an intimate relationship. It get’s lonely… I’m not gonna lie. Haha.

These are the areas in my life where things are not where I want. These are the places that aren’t in balance. And these are the things that need to be adressed. It’s all out. Scary as hell because reality just hit…

The Dabbler…

There was once a very old dying man who ruled a kingdom. His son was next to be put on the throne after his death. Under the old king’s rule the kingdom flourished. Food, water, safety, and kinship were the basic needs. The king fulfilled them. One day though, the king died. His son became king, but he never learned how to be a king. His father had never taught him how to rule a kingdom. But, his son had big plans for the kingdom. A vision so grand it mimics Rome. The new king told the people his grand vision. And sat on his thrown waiting for the day that someone or something would start the movement. He sat there for weeks… months… years…. And each year he would explain his grand vision of the future. But then the people slowly started leaving. The people slowly started packing their things in search of a new kingdom to live. All the while, the aging and now dying king, sits there and waits alone for his death.

This story blows my mind! Why? Because I wrote it. Not in the ‘cocky I’m cool because I wrote this’ sense, but in the sense that this story came off the top of my head and towards the end I got some very cool new insight that I might be able to use in my coaching practice. But more importantly I hadn’t realized how this story correlated with my life until about half way through. I noticed that my life mimics that of my story right now. Weird and freaky! But you know what? This has helped me find a few answers to what I was searching for. Which leads me to…. dun dun dun….. THE DABBLER

The dabbler is a person that talks the talk, does a little bit more talking and no doing. I’ve been experiencing that with many of my peers, relationships, friends and family, and as well as myself. At the end of the story I purposely left it open ended… just for you to think whether or not he realized that life had slipped away or he kept plowing away thinking his vision would come true before he died.

Some of us talk ourselves to death. We say, we say, we say, but most times never do. %98 of the world is like that. So it’s pretty normal, right? Wrong. And here’s why. The other %2 are the doers of the world, creating, changing, inventing all things possible, influencing, creating leadership. But, what if this generation, the generation Y kids, can access their inner resources enough to change the statistics? What if we can go up to %2.5? That’s only 66 million people. And on top of that we’ll have exponential growth for the next generations to come. This is my vision. To create a world of doers. Something I never was. Until the day I started at ICA. I became a doer then, and will help to create movers and shakers in this world. My commitment to you reading this, and to the quarterlifers that are ready for change.

Are you ready for this? This world is ready for some social change. Something more profound than anything has ever been. We’re all on the prowl for world peace. And by that I mean inner-world-peace, the place where things flow, where dreams become reality, the place where fulfillment lies. We’re all on a search for our purpose. And this is what I’m going to help you find, your purpose to freedom. Your drive to be a doer. And it starts at this first step.

Know what you want!

What is it in life that if you knew you couldn’t fail would make you feel fulfilled in every way possible?
What is it in your life have you dabbled too much in and want to move forward with?
What is it that drives your purpose for living?
If you had 1 day to live what would you want the world know about you?
If you were to write an autobiography about your life, how would you write it? What accomplishments, challenges, goals, dreams, and desires have you had? Would you tell the ones that you love how much they meant to you?

Basically, if life ended tonight before you go to bed, would you be happy?

If not, I challenge you to find what will by answering those questions. Search deeper beyond the surface of life and find something that adds meaning to your life. Whatever it is, I’ll join you through your search to be your best self.