The Tribe

Today is one of those days where you feel like you don’t want to do anything. I’ve been literally overworking myself to the bone. I haven’t been taking care of myself very well. After work, it’s back to home and the real work begins. I’ve pretty much been dealt the “Can you handle this?” hand. At this point it’s taking more effort for me to get up in the morning. The thing that’s fueled me even though I’m coughing up a storm has been my passion to get this life coaching thing on the road.

I talk to a bunch of customers at work and there are a few times where I meet the ‘right’ people. They just happen to pop up. I’ve been lucky enough or blessed enough to find these people and connect with them. People ask me what I do these days, and being the young, ambitious, inexperienced guy that I am… I tell them “I’m doing me.”

Most people don’t understand that concept. They have a skewed understanding of what it means. To them it only means that I’m working, getting things done, and making enough money. WRONG! It means that I’m doing something I love regardless of monetary rewards. It means that I’m making sure that this thing I love is worth it for me to drop everything, like friends and that oh-so-tempting Vegas life.

To ‘do me’ means to love my life. My goal is to help people that are stuck and struggling to find their voice to FIND IT or CREATE IT then to ultimately LIVE IT.

Do you know what a tribe is? Seth Godin in his new book titled Tribes defines a tribe as ‘a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea’ (1).

My tribe: All the people needing or hurting because they can’t find their voice or their part in this ever-changing world.

The idea: To grow as a human being. To become more. To help each other. To teach each other how to find that voice and ultimately how to live it in such a way that by the end of their life they can say, “Damn that was a hard, long, and damn fun road, but OH MY GOD was it worth it! Let’s do it again!”

The meaning of purpose.

“My Purpose In Life is to Serve God and contribute to humanity by living out loud in a powerful, fun, dynamic, passionate, loving, and entertaining way by helping others live their life’s purpose, and by being an example of what God gives back to people that live a life of service and contribution.”

There have been people throughout human history that have tried to define why we’re here on this earth. What our purpose is in life. Then there are those that live life by the seat of it’s pants, no real direction and no real meaning. Personally, I believe, that what we decide for ourselves defines our purpose. I believe that the only way to a meaningful and fulfilled life is to live a life with meaning. Whatever your life means to you today is perfect. It’s right for this time in your life. You wake up because of that meaning, whether you know it or not. But are you living a life of warning? Or example?

We can’t control the cards we’re dealt, but we can definitely control how we play them. There will be times in your life where you feel that what you’re doing doesn’t fulfill you anymore. Learn to play that hand. Learn from that hand and realize that you’ve been dealt those cards for you to search and dig deeper inside of yourself to become more. To be more. To build your character. Experience all you can in the realm of uncertainty and your passion will be found. It is in the time of uncertainty that your character is shaped. Find your purpose. Live a life of no regret. Love life. Live well.

Indecisiveness

I’ve noticed a common thread with quarterlifers and generation-y. And the running theme is indecisiveness. Indecisiveness as to where to lead their life, what goals to achieve, and what matters most to them. And let me put it out straight and say that it’s okay to not know. It’s okay to be not okay at this point in our lives. We are constantly struggling figuring things out because we’re led believe that we need to know everything. But that’s impossible. Our indecisiveness comes from having too much in our lives. We have so much stimulus coming from family, friends, media, and our own set of beliefs and values that it’s hard to pinpoint what’s right. And we struggle and hurt because of it. We get stuck in the daily motion of things that we rarely know who we’ve become until it’s too late. And usually the person we become in the process isn’t what we hoped to be. Here’s something simple you can do every morning for 15 minutes to figure who you want to be and where you’d like your life to go.

15 minutes of quiet time is all you need. Get away from the distractions and sit quietly just thinking about who you’d want to be. And over time you’ll figure out what yuo’re meant to be in your lifetime. Sit thinking about where your strength lies, where your weaknesses are, and spend some time imagining who you’d like to become. 15 minutes of quiet for yourself and yourself only. Take the time to give back to yourself. It’ll work wonders for your life. Try it and let me know your results.

What does coaching give me?

Coaching for me is like a 24 hour a day thing. Sometimes it saps my energy just constantly thinking about how I can make my coaching service better and readily available to the world. It definitely is challenging I have to admit. Sometimes I lose myself in my own thoughts and get jumbled up and lose focus. Thankfully to my peer coach, Linda Blaine, I’m able to set things at a consistent pace that I can handle. Coaching, like I said, is 24 hours. I live, breathe, and pretty much eat it. I’m surprised though. As much as I am passionate about coaching and how many tools I have in my arsenal, I realize that I’m no better than the average Joe who went into coaching. I feel that the coaching I give now is mediocre to the results I’m seeing from other coaches. Which is a good thing.  Why? Because it gives me a place to measure as I become better. It’s a 24 hour thing because I want to be the best at it.

I’ve come to terms with my fear of being alone. I realized it yesterday morning while on my coaching call. That’s what a powerful coach does! To help you realize what your fears are so you can overcome them. Through the process of classes in ICA, coaching calls, and talks with other people I believe I’ve become so much more of a better person. I realize that I have been coaching myself everyday since I’ve started ICA. I fell a few times and lost focus, but I’m back on track. I found that I can only eat an elephant one bite at a time. So right now we’re taking steps. Decreasing the impulsion to do things and give myself at least till the end of the day to think any decision over. That’s the first step. I think the next step is to channel those impulsions into something more concrete and stable. Like into finding my niche and target market.

Where am I going to position myself so that my coaching services will create extreme and lasting value for anyone in my target market?

What does coaching give me? An indescribable sense of purpose for myself, for my family and friends, and for the world. All the challenges makes it even that much more worth it in the end. It’s slow steady progress right now. And for that, I’m happy.

I challenge you to find your Purpose. Find your passion. And live your destiny.

If you need help finding your purpose here’s a link to the site of Tim Kelley, a speaker and author on Purpose Hunting(TM).

From Death to Life…

It has been about a day or so since I’ve blogged. The internet went down and had no way to really jump on a computer. So, guess what I did? I read all day, took notes, and worked out. A productive and fun day to say the least. Things the past few days have been really disappointing to me. I’ve been really down and really depressed with just about everything. My performance at work has been slacking, my commitment to ICA is there but I haven’t been using it to it’s fullest potential, I’ve lost focus on what’s really important right now… and that’s my family and friends. I personally think that’s why my other areas in life have been slacking. If I don’t have time to focus on friends and family, I slack in every other aspect in life. We all as twenty-somethings have a very difficult time balancing all that needs to be done. Between relationships, family, work, career, finances we don’t know where the ‘right’ path is. The pressures of life are unfolding slowly in front of us as we reach the tender age of 20-something. So how do we alleviate all this pressure to “be something”, especially when we don’t even know what that something is?

Step #1:
Find Your Passion

What are your strengths? How do you use them? If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do? These are some of the questions you’ll need to find what passion drives you. It took me a good 2 years to really understand what I’m meant to do here on this earth, for myself and for the world around me.
Now I’m not saying it’ll take you 2 years to find out. Just be aware of these questions, answer them frequently, and your passion will slowly form into something you’d want to create. Which leads to step #2.

But that’s for tomorrow’s blog. Haha.

A few good books to pick up on building your strengths are:

First, Break All the Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently
Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance
by Marcus Buckingham

StrengthsFinder 2.0: A New and Upgraded Edition of the Online Test from Gallup’s Now, Discover Your Strengths
by Tom Rath

These 3 books will help you discover your strengths, and where you can put them to use. Have fun ya’ll. Find your passion and love life.